lovely

i am almost 23 and i can somewhat feel it. ive been thinking about how fucking crazy people are and the way they act and treat others. sometimes you get too sick of things that just keep happening and you feel like your world is going around in circles and not getting anywhere, because thats exactly whats happening. to change, you have to want to change, no one can do that for you. everyone has a breaking point and its a shame to get to that but it has to happen. sometimes you can't trust the people that you surround yourself with or you just shouldnt. im opening new doors and doing new things. it was a new year but i really didnt treat it as such, so im starting now. keeping people around me i can trust and who arent sketchy as fuck. getting back to doing things for myself because ive also learned that no one gives a fuck about anyone else and their lives, and you have to live for yours. ive been doing the exact opposite these years and im done doing that, im for myself and myself only. also, no more drinking. ill have a glass of wine here or there but honestly, i haven't really drank that much in the past month and it feels great. it also means less drama. ahh to the drama part, why is it that everywhere i seem to go drama follows? when you dont do, or say shit to anyone? thats another reason i am opening a new chapter, this one is called "fuck the drama". a couple of reasons it got me to this point i was sitting or standing at a bar looking around me realizing that i just couldn't cut it anymore. i can't stand not giving a shit about the people around me or even getting to know the fake smiles on their faces or the creepy way they try to talk to you. i thought to myself "shit i really dont care about anyone in this room except for few people". everyone realizes this sooner or later. i guess its called growing up. no hate towards other people but its just not my thing.

i need things that are inspiring. i like these. the last one reminds me of a friend